Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I Won't

photo credit


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 
As every one of us sometimes learns, 
And many a failure turns about, 
When he might have won had he stuck it out; 
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, 
It seems to a faint and faltering man, 
Often the struggler has given up, 
When he might have captured the victor's cup, 
And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-- 
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 
And you never can tell how close you are, 
It may be near when it seems so far, 
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tangled

Today, I was amused and amazed by the magic of a lesson my students taught me: Learn WHEN TO HOLD ON, and WHEN TO LET GO. :)

photo credit
The activity was simple, it's basically the Doctor Quack quack Filipino children of our generation usually played. My students formed a circle holding each others' hands, right hand to right hand, left hand to left hand, and the goal is to untangle themselves. There were two groups with 14 members each. It took time for both groups to finally be untangled. The enthusiasm and excitement was there at the beginning, but towards the end, some were determined to finish it, some wanted to give up. Different personalities were revealed: there was the leader, the impatient, the persistent, the cool ones, the mediocre, and the apathetic, among others. :D You could just imagine how frustrating it was for them to do the activity. After around 20 minutes, both groups were able to form new circles. :) 

But before they reached their 'success', each group had to come up with different decisions: One let go of each other and started all over again, and the other held on and continued untangling their arms. Both, though, succeeded few minutes after making these decisions.

It was supposed to be about group communication, group dynamics, and team work. But the issue of letting go and holding on caught the interest of my students more than anything else. What if group one decided to let go, and do it over again, and group two decided to hold on and continue untangling themselves, would they still succeed? What if the 'leader' of the first group gave in to what some of the members wanted, that is to redo everything? And what if the 'leader' of group 2 did not listen to the other members saying, "Let's just do it again?" 

This, however, was not just a matter of 'destiny', but a matter of choice. Group one had to let go two times and redo everything before finally, they decided that this time, they had to hold on until the end. Group two had to hold on, and believed at first that they should follow the basic rule of the game: no one lets go of his group mate's hands, before they finally decided that it's time to let go and start all over again. And they were untangled.


Perfect timing. :))


Monday, March 12, 2012

Sharing a Piece of You

"Service is the rent we pay for living."
Marion Wright Eddelman
 
 
It just feels so good to be able to give a part of yourself to other people. And for that, my deepest gratitude to the College of Arts and Sciences for giving me the opportunity to be a faculty extension volunteer. (Lakas maka-speech nito. Haha!)
 
Who wouldn't want to be helped in times of difficulty? And who, wouldn't want to lay a hand on those who are in need? For the record, I am not rich. And one doesn't have to be rich to be able to help. Money is not the only thing that you can share. Unfortunately, in this "material world", money talks. But though money is ,yes, I must admit, important, having it is not everything. Perhaps, lucky are those who have the money to share to others, to provide for others' needs, to give help to those who are empty-handed. They are those who are more often than not, always given the opportunity to reach out to others. Politicians, celebrities, businessmen, just to name some. But the unsung heroes are those who give a piece of themselves without having to be as rich as those I mentioned. They are those who are given the opportunity to give out their service, to share a little of their time, and a little of themselves to provide not for others' material needs, but for something more than what the eyes can see. But whether you have the money or not, what's important is the heart that you have for giving. 
 
I'm lucky to have the opportunity to serve, to a small community in our town. It's not as big as other projects like "Sagip Kapamilya", or, "Kariton Classroom". But as stated in our certificate (not so clear in the picture though): "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something."
 
'Til next August, team CAS! :)) 

Sunday, March 11, 2012

No I'm Not A Singer....

.... but I sing Whitney Houston.


The Greatest Love of All, All At Once, Run To You, Dance With Somebody, I Will Always Love You... Who, in my generation, wouldn't know these songs? And who among all the greatest and aspiring singers in the country wouldn't know Whitney Houston? I grew up listening to these songs in singing contests, or in programs in school, or in the classroom where my friend, Natasha would always be asked for an intermission number. I would always wish I could sing these songs in public; or I'd wish I could sing, period. Unfortunately, not all wishes come true. :| 

I was in Grade five, and I vividly remember sitting on the stairs beside the stage while rehearsing for a play. My classmate was also rehearsing for an intermission number, and she sang The Greatest Love of All. For some reasons, the song seemed to be so magical that I kept on singing it in my mind that day, and I was able to memorize the lyrics just by listening to my classmate for one day. And after that, I would sing it at home, trying to perfect the entire song, reaching all notes, and embracing and feeling all the emotion of every single word of the song. I loved the first lines and I might be very young that time but I also believed that the children are our future.. :)

Then there were Run To You, All At Once, Didn't We Almost Have It All, When You Believe .. and a long list of songs I would sing in the bathroom, or in my mind, or in the karaoke. All these inspired me to sing (my wish still hasn't come true though). But more than being inspired to sing, I have always been inspired and touched by the message of her songs.

It's been more than a month since Whitney passed away. There have been a lot of speculations about her death, and a lot of negative publicity as well. People talked about her misfortunes, her addiction to drugs, her mishaps, her flopped concerts, among others. But more than all these negative things, people, I guess of all walks of life, remembered her for her songs, her soulful singing, her inspiration to all aspiring singers, and her contribution to the music industry. She had touched the lives not just of the singers, but also those like me, who might never be able to reach the right notes, but will still sing my heart out with all her songs. 

And I................................................................. will always love you, Whitney. :))

Thursday, January 26, 2012

MORE Than A Superhero

So I think I'm a superhero. . . in disguise. With some sort of superpowers within. . . Doing extraordinary things, or things extraordinarily. . . . Ok,that's bragging. :)

But my thought of me being a superhero is not just because of the things I do or the superpowers I have. . . It's because of where I came from . . . . . . . and where is that? Well, I came from THE POWERFUL HEART of an ordinary person, s,but she's omeone FAR MORE than a superhero.

My HOME
You see, this isn't really the perfect heart one wishes to have. It's cracked and wounded. It has patches and stitches. Its color has faded. But, it still GLOWS . . . .  And it glows NOT IN SPITE OF, but BECAUSE OF these imperfections.

Of course this heart belongs to my one and only MOM. :)) This is not the first time I am writing about her, but this is the first time I'm doing this not as an assignment or as a featured article in a school newspaper. I'm writing because I AM GRATEFUL.





I may be a superhero but she is more than one. I may have done extraordinary things but she has done SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS ones. I may have superpowers within, but she? SHE HAS MAGIC.

"A human body can bear only up to 45 del (unit) of pain. But at a time of giving birth, a woman feels up to 57 del of pain. This is similar to twenty bones getting fracture at a time."

If the above trivia is true, then isn't it magical that she gave birth to FIVE kids, all in normal delivery?

BUT . . . .

Waking up at 2 in the morning to prepare food for her little carenderia, cooking and serving customers with all smiles even if she's sick, playing the role of a mom and a dad at the same time, and 13 YEARS (and counting) of raising five lovely superheroes ALL BY HERSELF -- are even more magical.


To survive all the pains and sufferings and sadness and sorrows; to heal her own wounds and let them leave scars of learning; to patch the holes in her heart and stitch the cuts - I guess I will never know how she did those. I wouldn't bother anyway. I'm happy admiring all the MAGIC OF HER MOTHERHOOD. She's not perfect, of course, but you know, she did what she could, and she does what she can. So who am I to ask for more?

products of a powerful heart

flowers and my diploma made her smile

celebrating her Nth year on Earth


Christmas 2011

the SUUUUUUPERHEORES. . . Happy together :))

Mons . . . . Ugh,well . . . . they are SIMPLY AMAZING.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Joy of 'Sight Seeing'

The feeling of freedom and joy upon watching kids laugh.
photo credit

I was supposed to go to Dasma with my friends early this morning to help them find a Retreat House, and basically just enjoy the holiday hanging out with them. Unfortunately, my 'wisdom tooth', trying to make me feel its existence, has been giving me an irritating and almost unbearable pain. So I had to go to the dentist and have my tooth extracted this afternoon, and while waiting for my turn, I decided to go with my 13-year old sister, together with two other teenagers and a 5-year old really cute and chubby little girl. It was tiring to take care of the kids, to run with them, chase them, play with them, but it was fun to laugh with them. I'm not that old yet, but I guess I really felt the lack of daily exercise today so I sat down and just watched them play. I looked around and watched different kinds of people in the plaza: some elders playing tennis, students sitting seriously working on their thesis, tricycle drivers playing chess, students practicing a ballroom dance number for their P.E., parents walking with their kids, guys playing basketball, kids shouting and giggling on the playground. It's just amazing to see these people; the loud laughter of the kids around me was music to my ears, and the their smiles were joy to my heart. The simplicity of life when you are just there sitting, and looking around, trying to understand the stories of the people you see. It felt wonderful to me. :))

My friends had a great time in Dasma, and I really wished I could have joined them, but staying in the plaza today made my Monday totally different from all other normal Mondays I had (and not just because it's a holiday). Indeed,this is a life made lovely. :))

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Belle of Cheerfulness

My heart just melted. :')


Rhincel John O. De Veas
BSED-III
Quiz no. 5
The Belle of Cheerfulness
Simplicity is beauty… well that’s a very famous saying. It is actually nice to find a person so supple yet so exquisite like sugar and spice combined. A person like that is inspiring, actually, moving. It’s really a delight to feel that person’s presence and warmth all around your atmosphere.
            She is like an angel, a very sweet angel. Oops… she’s ma’am Valerie Go.
            Well, in her simple jokes, she can make a crowd laugh. She actually looks like a gentle lamb with all the wits and humor of a wolf. She is actually one of the most spirited people I know with all the humbleness around her.
            Maybe I sound like bull, but she definitely inspires me. She inspires me to be better in what I do. She was my teacher for two semesters and she made an impact to my life so great that I became just a whole new person. It’s like magic, no, it’s like enchantment. Spending two semesters in her class, the writer in me was born. Suddenly something deeper in my soul purged. It suddenly wanted to came out and shout what it can do.
            I’ll never know how she did it, but definitely I owe her a lot. She tells us her story and it somewhat moves something inside me. I suddenly started to believe that the most impossible things can actually start with a courageous step towards what blocks your way. Meeting her also gave birth to my maturity. Though she was my friend too, she never consent my wrongs. I learned suddenly how to be responsible for my own actions and be more firm in making my decisions.
            She’s beauty and brains combined with a splattering of glow and cheer. I really admire her passion in teaching, to somehow make a difference to other people’s life. She’s like a total package of goodness and fun. She definitely knows how to carry out a lively discussion in the most boring moments.
            She is an inspiration, she is my friend, and she is ma’am Valerie. 

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Personal Leave

Saw some familiar faces, and a lot of unfamiliar faces who definitely made my one-day-leave really worth it. =)


1. Kuya with Gray contact lens sa LTO Makati
He definitely made my day by telling me that they couldn't process my application for a Non-Professional License because I didn't have the receipt of my Student Permit. (sarcastic of me) But in all fairness, this Kuya was so accommodating and so nice to us. Check lang. =)


2. Kuya sa Customer Service ng LTO San Juan
At first I found him really annoying, irritating, and unaccommodating (comparing him with the Kuya from LTO Makati). He did not smile, he was talking to people as if telling them, "Hey, you're so stupid, can you just read the instructions posted around this office before you ask???" But when I passed my filled-up application form, upon seeing that  I am working at BSU, he changed (at least to me. hehe) the way he talked. Still kinda serious, still not smiling, but, we had a small talk. He said he was from BSU Lemery but he was residing in Taal. Okay, something in common. That's nice. He was asking me why I was applying in San Juan and not in Tagaytay. And other things. At least, "tropa na kami ni Kuya". Hehe. =)


3. Doctor Bernardo (still from LTO San Juan)
He was maybe in his 60's, but he knew how to mingle with the young ones. As he wrote my name on the paper, he was like, "ang ganda ng pangalang Valerie". Of course it gave me a smile on my face and knowing the ever "sira ulo at palabirong" me, I answered, "syempre po maganda din ako,eh" (chos!) When he was about to write my civil status, "Single no?" "Opo." "hanggang kelan?" "Pag-iisipan ko po." And when he found out that I was only 22, he was like, "Ah, single pa nga dapat, bata ka pa." I really liked him. Not just because of his compliments and his funny "hirit", but because he reminded me of my lolo. =)


4. Kuya and Ate from the PhotoSig window and Approving Window (LTO San Juan)
Okay, I thought I would be given a reviewer because those around me had reviewers for the exam. But OMG! I took the exam without any review! Of course I did not have any idea of what the exam would be. Neither did I have any idea of what the correct answers were. Some were, well, common sense. Most were about the rules on the road. Err. Passing was 30. I got......29! Partida. Hehe. But still, I failed. Ate from the PhotoSig was the one who informed me that I failed by 1 point. Ouch. But it was totally okay with me. The thing is, sila pa ang mukang nanghihinayang. Even Kuya from the Approving window told me na "Isa na lang!". It felt good somehow that these people, though we didn't know each other had that sympathy for me. Hehe. =)


5. Kuyang Jeepney Driver
"Itago mo Ineng yung cellphone mo." I was shocked when he suddenly talked to me, and I immediately kept my phone in my bag. He said that he had one passenger before who had his cp snatched while inside his jeepney. He told me to be very careful specially that I'm a girl. I felt his concern. We had a small talk about traffic rules (things mentioned in the exam) and stuff about life. When I was about to get off, he reminded me to look at both sides of the road before I get off. Or when I cross the street. I smile and thanked him for that very short moment that we had, where I knew, somehow, he was really concerned. =)


6. Ate in line after me at Cahier 5 of Landmark, Trinoma
I was the next in line to be served. But suddenly, an old woman broke in the line and gave her things to the cashier. The cashier did not notice that the woman broke in the line so she still served her. Then when it was already my turn (again) the lady, (around 40's) next to me told the cashier, "Alam mo ms, sumingit lang yung matanda. Dapat sya (me) na, pero biglang pinatong ng matanda yung bibilhin nya." The cashier, sincerely apologizing to me, said that she did not notice. It was not a big deal anyway. After that I thought, not all people can actually say what the lady next to me said.  I mean, we have opinions, and when we see something wrong, even a simple one, we become reluctant to say it especially that we know that its just a simple matter. That lady was reluctant at first so she just let the old woman be served first, but at least, she was able to give a reminder to the cashier not to let it happen again.


7. Sir Robert Go
I was a bit hesitant and, it was a litle awkward for me to say, "Si Sir Go po?" to the instructor who opened the door of the faculty room. He was not there so I just sent him a text message telling him I was at his faculty room. It's been a while, as in a while. I have always been so proud of Robert's achievements. I have always been one of his "fans". Anf seeing his name on the door of FC 3001 was really something that made me smile that afternoon. We did not have much time to talk because he had a meeting but at least, we were able to, even for a very limited time, catch up a little. I was really happy to see him again. =)


8. Ma'am TP de Luna
O,well,she's still the ever pretty Ma'am TP. It's been two years since I last saw her but it felt good that she still remembered my name. She gave me a hug and a "beso" and asked me where I was working. When I told her I was teaching, I saw this big smile on her face as if telling me, "I am so happy for you!" (or maybe that's just my interpretation. hehe) Well, whatever that smile meant, I"m still very very very happy to see her. =)


9. Kuya Lem
The legendary Kuya Lem of the Department of Speech Communication and Theater Arts. Wen I went to the Radio Lab and didn't find him, I was a bit disappointed, at the same time, sad. But! He saw me! We bumped into each other and I was very very very happy! I was so excited to tell hims stuff, just like  what we used to do during our college days, when I couldn't find any place to stay in. I liked it when he excitedly asked me, "Kumusta ka na,teacher?" .. And catching up on the two years that we didn't see each other. When he learned that I was applying for a driver's license because I had a motorbike, he was like, "Bakit ka nagmomotor? Baka naman kaskasero ka,ha. Dapat hindi ka nagmomotor, delikado." My heart kinda melt (yayks) feeling the concern and kindness of a kuya, of Kuya Lem. I really really really missed him. And I still do. =)


10. Natasha aka Twinkle
Well, she was on my birthday party last month, but I always miss her still. We had this loooooong conversation about what has happened, and what has been happening to my life, my family life, work life, love life. I had a very long story to tell, and she just listened. I so love her. =)


Strangers some of them may be, but definitely, even strangers give a great impact in our lives. It was only a one-day leave, but  it was a loooong day, indeed. We made memories. =)

Monday, January 24, 2011

A Good Read. =)

An e-mail I received from a friend on the time I thought I needed it most. 

Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy:

"Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith.

That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped.. I
immediately filed Tommy under 'S' for strange... Very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the 'atheist in residence' in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an
unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, 'Do you think I'll ever find God?'

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. 'No!' I said very emphatically.

'Why not,' he responded, 'I thought that was the product you were pushing.'

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, 'Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!' He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever.  Later I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me.  When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. 

'Tommy, I've thought about you so often; I hear you are sick,' I blurted out.

'Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks...'

'Can you talk about it, Tom?' I asked.

'Sure, what would you like to know?' he replied.

'What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?

'Well, it could be worse.

'Like what?

'Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life..

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)

'But what I really came to see you about,' Tom said, 'is something you said to me on the last day of class.' (He remembered!) He continued, 'I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.

(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)

'But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God.. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven.. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.

'Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an afterlife, or anything like
that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.''

'So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad.. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.. 'Dad.

'Yes, what?' he asked without lowering the newspaper.

'Dad, I would like to talk with you.'

'Well, talk.

'I mean . It's really important.'

The newspaper came down three slow inches. 'What is it?'

'Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that.' Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.  'The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me..'

'It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years.

'I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.

'Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through.  C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.''

'Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him.'

'Tommy,' I practically gasped, 'I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in
love is living with God and God is living in him.' Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it would not be half as effective as if you were to tell it.

'Oooh.. I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class.'

'Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call.'

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date.

However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed.  He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a
life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.

Before he died, we talked one last time.

'I'm not going to make it to your class,' he said.

'I know, Tom.'

'Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?'

I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best.'

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

“Living A Heroic Life” by Gabriela M. Francisco. Summa Cum Laude 2008

My fellow Filipinos:

We tread on hallowed ground. We walk in the company of heroes. Within these same corridors and classrooms that have seen better days, we cram for tests, eat fishballs and tapsilog from Rodic’s, grab a few minutes of much needed sleep. However, we are not alone. Hush a while. Listen. Can’t you feel the lingering presence of martyrs and student activists, the intangible yet undeniable left-over vestiges of genius, youthful idealism and passionate patriotism? Past presidents of the country and National Artists who have since passed away – heroes all, in their own right – are with us still.
One national hero who strikes me as being very U.P. is Apolinario Mabini. I’m pretty sure that had U.P. been in existence back then, he would have been one of the first students or professors lecturing here, living up to his title of being “The Brains of the Revolution.”
The Ateneo had Jose Rizal, and had he lived today, we can picture him sitting in a Starbucks café, surrounded by piles of books and typing away furiously at a laptop. Antonio Luna would have fit right in with the future generals at the PMA. It takes little effort to imagine him dressed in fatigues, huffing and puffing as he jogged up an uphill path in the City of Pines. But Apolinario Mabini is purely U.P. Born to a poor family who could barely make both ends meet, this man has been described by Arthur MacArthur as “a highly educated young man who, unfortunately, is paralyzed. He has a classical education, a very flexible, imaginative mind… He is a dreamy man, but has a very firm character and of very high accomplishments. He would undoubtedly be of great use in the future of those islands.”
Apolinario Mabini wrote in his Decalogue:
            “Thou shalt love thy country after God and thy honor and more than thyself: for she is the only Paradise which God has given thee in this life, the only patrimony of thy race, the only inheritance of thy ancestors and the only hope of thy posterity.”
            He goes on to say:
            “Thou shalt strive for the happiness of thy country before thy own, making of her the kingdom of reason, of justice and of labor: for if she be happy, thou, together with thy family, shalt likewise be happy.”
I choose to share Mabini’s words because I feel that this is what UP graduates need to hear. Written over a century ago, his words still ring true today.
From the very first, beginning with the orientation given us as freshmen and expounded upon in our G.E. classes, our egos have been nourished with sayings such as “We are the best of the best, the crème de la crème.” But always, always, accompanied by the reminder to whom we owe our education: to our country and to our people. I imagine that this held true even a century ago, that professors have unceasingly preached this heady blend of flattery and reminder from the first time UP opened its gates to the best and the brightest of Filipino students.
In generations past, it was relatively easier to pick a side. Nationwide issues weren’t as muddied up as they are now, with hundreds of shades of grey to choose from and no longer simply in black and white. It is no wonder that many students are confused when they come here fresh from the province or that conservative high school, only to find themselves in a melting pot of diverse beliefs and dogmas, with each group having its defenders and detractors, forcing them to CHOOSE! And they must choose a side quickly or remain a fence-sitter, a bystander at the fringes of unfolding history.
A lot of us have experienced the pressure to join rallies and boycott classes, or risk being called “indifferent” and “apathetic.” But such censure is neither fair nor complete if in sticking to one’s studies, by faithfully going to class and attending lectures, by fulfilling the mission given to oneself in the meantime, one always keeps in mind that time spent away from one’s studies is the money of one’s less fortunate countrymen gone to waste.
Showing one’s patriotism isn’t limited to the rallying, the battle cries and the marching on the streets. There is a patriotism of a quieter sort, the patriotism I see in my less fortunate classmates who skip meals just so they can have enough fare money to come to class. There is the patriotism of the athlete from the College of Human Kinetics, who comes to training barefooted, not having enough money to purchase a new pair of shoes, so he can do a good job representing the country in a competition abroad. There is patriotism and courage in hundreds of such UP students who fully appreciate the gift they’ve been given and value their education such that they will not let horrendous traffic, nor floods brought about by typhoons, nor incredible distances, nor any lack of resources to prevent them from coming to school. Such dedication and commitment in the face of adversity cannot be called anything else but “heroic.” This is the heroic patriotism demonstrated by the UP isko in courageously going to school, despite any and all the hardships, garnering excellent marks and graduating at the top of one’s class. But patriotism doesn’t end there. Rather, the true test is how we live our lives AFTER we leave the UP.
            One need not look hard nor far for examples of everyday heroism. I see it in our professors, who have forsaken better-paying jobs in order to remain at the UP, mentoring the brightest minds and the brightest beacons of hope for the country. I see it in the brilliant UP grad who goes abroad for higher studies, is given the chance to exchange her visa for a green card, but gives it up to return home so she can spend her most productive years giving back to the country and the people to whom she owes her education. I see it in our parents, who sacrifice greatly so they can pay for the cost of our plates and extra lab fees, sometimes to the point of giving up their dreams so we can have a chance at achieving ours.
In a few minutes, we will be known as UP graduates. We do not have the luxury to choose whether or not to stay in the country, and get paid in paltry pesos when we can be paid the full value of our worth abroad. That choice has already been made for us, and paid for by the blood of our forefathers and the sweat and toil of past generations. From the beginning, our time, and even our very lives, do not belong solely to us. The Filipino people have paid, and paid dearly so we could be educated at the premiere state university. Isn’t it only just that we UP graduates be prepared to do our people the same honor they have shown us?
Like Mabini, others might consider UP graduates paralyzed by circumstance, forced to submit to the tyranny of materialism and the call to migrate abroad in order to have a “better life.”
But, like Mabini, I pray that we learn to rise above the constrictions of fortune, that we do not let the hindrances of our present circumstances dictate the outcome of our future. I pray that, as we leave college and strike out on our own, reaching for our dreams, we do not forget to place our dreams in the setting of home and hearth.
I urge you, fellow graduates and fellow Filipinos, to make this solemn pledge with me to uphold the core values of excellence, leadership and service that UP has instilled in us. Make the commitment, the one I’m swearing to right now, to offer your country and your people, your all… for your country and your people deserve nothing less.
May we all lead heroic lives worthy of the title “Iskolar ng Bayan” conferred on us, and worthy of the name “Filipino.”
Mabuhay ka, Iskolar ng Bayan… Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan!
            A pleasant evening to all.

Comfort Women

This was one of the papers I submitted for my Fil50 (Panitikan ng Pilipinas) class when I was in 4th year college. After reading it again, I suddenly remembered the time we were with Lola Regina, and now I wonder where she is. =(



Si Lola Regina

            Madami na akong napag-aralan tungkol sa mga “comfort women” mula sa iba’t ibang aklat ng kasaysayan mula pa noong bata ako. Masasabi kong maswerte ako dahil bata pa lamang ako, kahit hindi pa man naming pinag-aaralan sa paaralan ang tungkol sa mga nangyari noong Ikalawang Digmaang Pandaigdig, ay marami rami na akong alam tungkol sa mga pangyayari noong panahong iyon. Sundalo noon ang aking lolo at isa siya sa mga Pilipinong sundalong nakipaglaban noong panahon ng Hapon. Madalas niya kaming kwentuhan ng kanyang mga karanasan sa giyera. Kaya naman kahit ito ang unang pagkakataon kong makapanayam si Lola Regina, na naging ‘comfort woman” noong panahon ng hapon, ay hindi na din bago para sa akin ang mga naikwento niya sa amin. Bukod sa mga kwento ng aking lolo ay mayroon na din akong nabasang mga aklat na nagkwekwento ng buhay ng mga “comfort women” noong nag-aaral pa ako ng Kas1. Marahil ang masasabi kong bago sa akin, at, para sa akin ay siyang pinakamahalagang bahagi ng aming panayam, ay ang mga personal na karanasan pagsubok na pinagdaanan ni Lola Regina bago, habang at matapos ang giyera.
            Hindi naging ganoon kalinaw sa akin ang ibang detalye ng kwento ni Lola Regina dahil na din sa madami kaming mag-aaral ang nakikipanayam sa kanya, at hindi na din naman kaya pa ni Lola na lakasan pa ang kaniyang boses. Gayunpaman, madami akong natutunan sa kaniyang kwento, lalo pa’t sa edad na 78 ay malinaw pa din sa kaniyang isipan ang mga pangyayari sa kaniyang buhay, at handing handa siyang ilahad ang lahat. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, trese-anyos siya noon nang dukutin ng mga Hapon at dalhin sa isang lugar sa Pampanga. Ayon sa kaniya, hindi pa siya dinadatnan noon ng regla, at wala siyang kaalam alam sa mga pinaggagawa sa kaniya ng mga sundalong Hapon. Ang alam lang niya ay “Hayop talaga ang mga Hapon noon, kahit batang Hapon, mga walang puso.” Saksi siya sa pagpaslang ng mga Hapon sa kaniyang mga magulang, kapatid, at iba pang kaanak. Sa murang edad, sa isang iglap, naulila siya, nawalan ng pamilya. Nang dalhin siya sa isang bahay ay sinimulan siyang pagpasapasahan ng mg asundalong Hapon. Ayon sa kaniya, sa silong ng bahay kung saan siya pinagdalhan, habang ginagahasa siya, ay nakikita niya ang iba pang babaeng ginagahasa sa itaas ng bahay. Wala siyang magawa kundi ang umiyak. Araw-araw ay hubo’t hubad siya sa silong. Pagkaalis ng isang grupo ng sundalong gumahasa sa kanila, ay may kapalit na naming isa pang grupo. Ito ng naging buhay niya sa araw-araw hanggang sa maitakas siya ng isang gerilya. Noon ay muli siyang literal na nadamitan. Nagkaroon din siya ng bagong pag-asa. Sa pagsama niya sa mga gerilya at pagiging kasapi ng HULBALAHAP ay natuto siyang lumaban laban sa mga Hapon. Natuto din siyang humawak ng armas bilang sandata. Puno siya ng galit noong mga panahaong iyon. Nang patapos na ang giyera, at unti unti nang umaalis ang mga Hapon sa Pilipinas, unti unti na ding naubos ang mga gerilya. Isang araw nang makakita siya ng isang Hapon ay pinaghahampas niya ito sa sobrang galit. Hindi niya sinabi kuna napatay ba niya ang Hapong iyon ngunit ayon kay Lola ay halos hindi na makatayo ang Hapon sa sobrang pagkabugbog.
            Matapos ang giyera ay sumama siya sa iba pa niyang natirang kamag-anak sa pag-aakalang pag-aaralin siya ng mga ito. Ngunit sa edad na kinse, kung tama ang aking naaalala, ay ipinakasal siya ng kaniyang mga kamag-anak. Hindi natuloy ang sinabing pagpapaaral sa kanya. Ayon nga kay Lola, ni hindi niya alam isulat ang kaniyang pangalan. Bata pa at wala pang alam sa buhay may-asawa si Lola Regina, ngunit gayon pa man, ay pinangatawanan niya ang pagiging isang asawa at ina sa anim na sanggol na naging bunga ng kanilang pagsasama. Ngunit dahil na din sa hindi naman nila mahal ang isa’t isa, ay naghiwalay din sila kinalaunan. Mag-isa niyang itinaguyod ang kaniyang mga anak at buong pagmamalaki niyang sinabi sa aming napagtapos niya ang mga ito. Kitang kita kung gaano ka-proud si Lola habang kinukwento niyang napagtapos niya ng arkitektura ang isa niyang anak.
            Naging matahimik naman ang buhay niy amatapos ang giyera, at pinili na lamang niyang ilihim kahit sa sariling pamilya ang mga pinagdaanan niy anoong panahn ng Hapon. Masakit pa din sa kaniya ang mga naganap at hindi pa niya kayang ilahad ang mga ito. Ngunit isang araw ay hinikayat siya ng isang kaibigan na ilahad ang kaniyang kwento sa telebisyon. Matagal niyang pinag-isipan ito hanggang sa magdesisyong makipanayam kay Mel Tiangco upang ilahad ang kaniyang kwento. Noong panahong iyon lamang din nalaman ng kaniyang pamilya, particular na ng kaniyang mga anak ang kaniyang karanasan. Nakaklungkot dahil bukod sa pagkagulat, ay nagalit din ang ilan sa kaniyang mga anak dahil daw sa ‘ginahasa pala siya ng mga Hapon’. Paliwanag lagi ni Lola, “Hindi ko ginusto iyon. Hindi pa kayo tao noong nangyari yun.” Gayunpaman, hindi naglaon ay iniwan na din siya ng kaniyang mga anak.
            Naging aktibo si Lola Regina sa paglilingkod sa simbahan. Ayon sa kaniya ay malaking tulong ang kanyang paglalahad ng kaniyang kwento, at ang pagsisilbi niya sa simbahan upang unti unting maghilom ang sugat na dala ng digmaan. Hindi naglaon ay tuluyan na niyang napatawad ang mga Hapon. Ayon sa kaniya, habang kinukwento niya nag mga karanasan niya noon, ay wala na siyang kahit anong sakit na nararamdaman, patunay ng kaniyang lubos na pagpapatawad sa mga nanakit at lumapastangan sa kaniya. Hindi daw madali ang proseso, ngunit dahil sa kaniyang pananalig sa Panginoon ay natutunan niyang magpatawad at lumimot.
            Aminado si Lola na noong mga panahong ginagahasa siya ng mga Hapon ay hindi lang minsan niya hiniling na mamatay na lang. ngunit nawalan man siya ng pag-asa, ni minsan ay hindi daw niya sinisi ang Panginoon sa mga nangyari, dahil alam niyang dumating man siya sa puntong nawalan siya ng pag-asa at hirap na hirap na siya ay iniligtas pa rin siya ng Panginoon. Ang kaniyang pananampalataya ang siyang tumulong sa kaniya upang malagpasan ang bawat araw na pinagdaanan niya noong panahon ng Hapon, at magpahanggang ngayon.
            Alam man ni Lola kung nasaan ang kaniyang mga anak, ay wala na din daw silang gaanong komunikasyon. Nakakalungkot isipin na ganito ang naging reaksyon ng kaniyang mga anak. Ngunit marahil nga ay may plano talaga ang Panginoon.
            Nang tanungin naming si Lola Regina kung mayroon pa ba siyang nais hilingin sa Panginoon, ang sabi niya ay wala na. Ngunit dahil makulit kami, pinilit pa din naming siyang humiling. Ang sabi niya, hiling lamang niya ay ang magkaroon pa siya ng malakas na pangangatawan at mabuting kalusugan sa araw-araw upang mkapagsilbi pa sa kaniyang kapwa. Masaya na daw siya sa kaniyang buhay ngayon, at masaya siyang maibahagi ang kaniyang kwento sa mga kabataang tulad namin.
            Sa pagtatapos n gaming panayam, pinayuhan kami ni Lola Regina na pagbutihin an gaming pag-aaral, at huwag na huwag makakalimot sa Panginoon. Sa simula pa lamang ng umaga, pagmulat ng ating mga mata, ay nararapat lamang na magpasalamt tayo sa isa pang araw na ibinigy Niya sa atin.
            Masaya ako na naging bahagi ako ng pagtitipong ito nina lola. Wala akong kinalakihang lola kaya naman tuwang tuwa akong makita si Lola Regina at ang iba pa niyang kaibigan. Nakatutuwang isipin na sa kabila ng lahat lahat ng hirap na kanilang pinagdaanan noon ay heto sila at patuloy na nakakangiti at nagsasaya.