Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's okay to feel stupid

I feel stupid, and it sucks!

I don't know what's with this day, but for sure, it's not really good. I started this day feeling excited for the activity I prepared for my students. Some were cooperative, and some (as expected) were not. I hate it when they look at you and show you a face as if saying, "And what do you expect us to do, follow you?"
Then the discussion. You really cannot force your students to speak up if they really don't want to. No matter how much you try to motivate them, (or maybe it really isn't enough?) if they choose to keep silent, they will keep silent. To the point that they won't give any single answer for your question. Darn! My question was simple: What do you mean by the term 'overview', from the words over and view? I tried to give some clue, some hint just to give them an idea of what I was talking about. A little example of the "overlooking" where you can have a view of the whole Nasugbu. Still, no answer. I felt stupid in front of them trying to give them some hint and trying to make them speak, when all I could see on their faces were expressions of boredom, and just being passive, as if saying, "whatever!" I soooo hate it.

Of course, that was just me, that was just the way I interpreted it. Maybe I just really wanted to please them. Maybe I just really wanted them to learn, but I can't help them because they're not helping themselves. It's frustrating. These kids think that they cannot do it. They think that they are not good enough to the point that they get tired of trying.

At the end of the day, I know that I should take it as a challenge. A challenge to become a better teacher maybe? A challenge to help them learn, and help them raise their level of self confidence a little bit higher, at least to that level when they can speak up in class.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

4 years

Countdown : 6 hours and 30 minutes.

We had maybe around 7 months of friendship, 7 months of "Hi!","Hello","Good morning, Ms. Val","Good morning,Sir!". 4 months of 'getting to know each other'. 3 months of "I have a huge crush on you." 3 hours of sharing each others stories. 30 minutes of last moments together.Some few seconds of smile. A few seconds of hug.
He'll be back after (or within the next) 4 years. But 4 years is still 4 years. Come what may. For now, all I know is, I'll miss him for sure... :(